Matt: Can I take a diplomacy check?
Anbdrew: Two arrows fly toward you.
Matt: Me? Alright, the butchery begins!
Craig & Jim: Oh god!

Matt: How many of us do you plan to kill today?
Andrew: If I can, all of you.
Matt: Oh Great, well kill Andy, because he's the one who has the lead.

Jim: Aw man, my AC is lower than ALL of yours!
Magda: That's a GOOD thing.
Jim: Oh, really? That's lame.

Joel: Wait, what's my character's name?
Matt: You don't HAVE a name Joel.
Joel: I don't? But I've been talking to Loki.
Andrew: Well you just materialized with the rest of them.
Matt: But I don't know him... wait... Ok, Who the hell are you??

Joel: Andrew, I really don't wanna make a character.
Andrew: Here's some dice.
Joel: But you said I had a character ready to go!
Andrew: Well I...
Joel: 'Well I lied.' Of course.

Magda: Oh he could be the tied up one!
Matt: Oh yeah!
Andy: Wait, what?
Matt: Oh yeah. Andy almost raped you Joel
Joel: What?? {small and sad} Why do I know so many rapists?

Jim: I can't have starches of disachyarides.
Joel: Name one naturally occurring thing that you can eat.
Jim: Honey... and water.
Joel: I accept that.

Joel: I say let's avoid the monkeys.
Matt: I'm all in favor of that.
Andy: Where's my f**king character sheet??
Matt: It's right there.
Andy: Oh.

Jim: Check out my awesome leather beard protector.

Matt: What's the magic word?
Andy: Pleeeease.

Andrew: I thought the magic word was 'now'?
Jim: It depends how threatening the person is.
Andy: I'm not very threatening.
Magda: Yeah, Andy's kinda like a puppy.

Magda: Whoa, Andrew, how much ice cream did you put in there??
Andrew: I put as much as would fit.
Magda: Are you going to the store if we run out?
Matt: Come on, nobody else wants any now.

Joel: Andyyy, there's something stuck into my foot!
Andy: What?
Joel: Owhowhowoww
Matt: It's like the lion with the thorn!
Magda: What the hell? How much have you had to drink Joel?
Matt: Yeah, how is Joel gonna get home?
Joel: I'll be fine. I have to work tomorrow... hey is that mine?

Andrew: I'm not gonna drink any, I just want to hold it.

Joel: Ya know, this is just like work... when Taylor walks into the back room and he's like 'alright everything is under control' and then you hear crashing and breaking, and I go back there and there's like all these chairs stacked up against the back wall, and... they all fell down.

Andy: Oh god, I need paper towels! Lots of paper towels!

Joel: Is this a twist off?
Magda: No, but there's an opener right there.
Joel: You should have said yes! =)
Magda: How long would you have spent trying to open it?
Joel: hehehe

Magda: Andrew, is that MORE ice cream?
AndreW: No, this is the same bowl!
Joel: Andrew's a fatty!
Joel: You know, we should watch Totoro, I've become obsessed.

Andrew: Now that everyone is drunk, I think the game is dead.
Joel: I'm not drunk!
Andrew: You once told me several times it takes you exactly one 24oz beer to get drunk.
Joel: So?
Andrew: You've had exactly that. Oh, and you ALSO had a couple jello shots, and now you're drinking a Fosters.
Joel: Look, I'm not driving you home.
Andrew: No, Andy's driving me home.
Andy: I am deliberately getting wasted so I don't have to drive Andrew home!
Matt: Andy! You have to drive us home!
Andy: hehehe
Andrew: Look, if you have to sleep on the floor...
Joel: Andrew, this isn't your house.
Magda: It's Ok, my floor is open if you need to.

Andy, Did you see I made a penis? Look! It's a penis! Isn't that clever?
Joel: Ok Andy, let me see your penis.
Andy: Uh, hold on, let me just... whip it out.
Joel: Aw, that's cute
Andy: See? I made it sorta yellow and with a dribble off the end.
Everyone: Ughhh

Andy: Oh! Do these count as Loki-Land fun bucks??
Andrew: No.

Magda: No, let's TALK to them.
Matt: I don't speak infernal! ...Wait, DO I speak infernal?

Andrew: Ok, you all see a bunch of lavachildren and one walks up to you.
Joel: Say something to him!
Matt: Are ye friend or foe?
Andrew: One of them stands upright and... smiling...
Matt: And?
Andrew: ...And he's big.
Matt: Yes... and?
Andrew: ...And he walks forward.
Matt: And?
Andy: Oh, he's gonna rape you.
Matt: And? Andy, go up to him, give him a high five.
Andy: I... what? Wait, no!

Magda: Physics don't change when you're drunk Joel..
Joel: What?
Magda: You're playing with these heavy things and throwing things with such interest. It doesn't react differently when you're drunk.
Joel: No, I do this stuff all the time, I just do it more when people only notice I'm drunk.

Magda: You're trying to make up new verses to my song.
Andrew: I am not making up new verses, it was my song to begin with.
Magda: What? No it wasn't, it was mine!
Andrew: It so was!
Andy: What song?
Andrew: No one knows what it's like to... be the... be... umb... the...
Magda: ♫The bad guyyyys♪, ♫To be the D Mmmmmmmm♪, ♫Behind the screen!♪
Andrew: I'm sorry.